Ok... I know I have talked about this in my blog before, but I have been sitting here at my desk thinking about it for the past few minutes and I honestly can't come up with anything I hate more than talking in front of people.
Just in case you are interested here is a top 5 list of things I hate. Figured I would put it out there since I have spent about 5 minutes thinking about it.
- Talking in front of people. (Clearly in the number 1 position).
- Spiders (This shot to the number 2 position after moving to Guatemala).
- Windmills (It's a legit fear... they could cut your head off, but seriously they make me cry).
- People not responding when I talk (This drives my family crazy. They have learned I like responses).
- Asking for donations. (I discovered this hatred since coming home last week).
(I just thought about speaking in front of people about donations and getting no responses while getting attacked by spiders and giant scary windmills. I almost started crying.)
So after reading my top 5 list you can imagine how much I hate having to talk in front of groups of people while asking for donations. It makes me uncomfortable to ask for other people to support me while I am in Guatemala. Everyone tells me that it's silly and that nobody gets offended when you ask. However, I often feel like why should I ask other people to donate to me just so I can be down in Guatemala serving. I then think about how I should use whatever savings I have to pay as long as I could down there, but then I worry about what happens when I come home. Who knows what kind of job aspects will be waiting for me when I move back. That is something that terrifies me. I know I will be ok this coming year, but then what about when I move home. I will be moving back with possibly no job opportunities open to me and who knows how long it will take to find another job. Then I think about how right now I have my dream job at the church and how it may not be open for me when I move back. I don't have a fall back plan anymore and that is terrifying to me. This is when I get so scared that I have to stop thinking about it and whisper to myself "God will provide". That is something I have to remind myself of daily. Otherwise it gets too much for me to handle.
This summer I am talking to several different groups and Sunday school classes about Guatemala. I am eager to share with church members about what I have been up to, but at the same time I wish I could do it with more grace and less sounding like I am about to cry. At the end of each talk I am asking for support in 3 ways.
1. Prayers. There are both really good days in Guatemala and really hard days. On both days I could use some prayers and love from back home.
2. Personal donations. My organization doesn't offer any stipends or housing allowances to the volunteers. I am down there fully as a volunteer and can only stay as long as I have donations to cover my expenses.
3. Donations for Salud y Paz. Like any non profit in a 3rd world country Salud y Paz could always use some loving. We need donations to keep our operating budget up and running. If you are interested in donating to Salud y Paz please contact me and let me know (email@example.com) or you can go to the top of my blog and click on the Salud y Paz page from which you can find both the organization's website and how to donate.
Speaking of new pages on top of the blog get excited because this smart girl spent about 4 hours a few days ago and finally figured out how to create new pages. Check them out. :)
I guess this is my settle way of saying if you feel called to donate to my mission adventure please either contact me or click on the 'How to Donate' page at the top of this blog. Know how much I appreciate any support that you are willing to give me. I know it is not possible to do this on my own and it means the world to me knowing how many people I have supporting me back home.
I know that appreciate everyone who keeps up with me through this blog.